Tuesday night, after we attended our second class to adopt through CPS, Carla and I just were not feeling a peace about things. We originally felt called to adopt internationally, but when I heard about the cost of it, I leaned toward the local adoption road. Carla, being the good wife that she is, followed my lead and we started the process of local CPS adoption/fostering. I had been feeling a sense of guilt for abandoning the international adoption route that I originally felt God leading us, but since we were still adopting, I felt like that was ok. All the time we were preparing for classes, sitting in classes, and discussing the aspects of local adoption, I was still not having a peace about it. But since it seemed like Carla was so excited and working so hard, I kept my mouth shut. Finally though, I couldn’t keep quiet any more.
On our way home from class Tuesday night, I finally expressed to Carla how I was feeling. Thinking that she might be a little frustrated with me, I was a bit scared! But as soon as I told her that I was still feeling led to go international, she immediately said she felt the same way! So, after wrestling back and forth, we both feel the peace of God with our decision. We both feel like weight has been lifted and that we are finally doing what God has led us to do.
With all of that said, we are now on a journey to bring home our child. Wherever he or she may be in this huge world, we are furiously pursuing to bring our child home, at whatever the cost! We are still in the beginning stages of this adoption, and we have already been looked at like we are crazy. We have had both friends and family think we have lost our marbles! I know that they just don’t understand it yet, but it is still really hard to hear all of the negative comments. For those of you who don’t understand why Carla and I are adopting a hopeless child in need of a mommy and daddy, this is why…
Christ furiously pursued me and saved me when I was hopeless. When there was nothing I could do to save myself, Christ loved me enough to come and give me that hope and life. He loved me even when I was an enemy of God! He saved me even when I was saturated in self righteousness and sin! He adopted me into his family and made me His own! Why would Christ do that for me?! Because He loves me! Even though He doesn’t NEED me, He loved me enough to adopt me! This is the reason I am adopting! Even though my life is already crazy, busy, complicated, and NOT perfect, I want to share the love that Christ showed to me. I want to give a hopeless child hope! I want to pour the gospel into a child that may otherwise never hear it! I want to help give a child with no identity an identity! I want to be a daddy to a child who has no daddy! I want to LIVE OUT THE GOSPEL!!
This journey is not going to be easy! We will need lots of patience and grace from God. We are really going to have to trust in God’s sovereignty! We will have many hurdles to overcome before we can bring our child home! We have barely started the process and we have already been faced with the first hurdle. Just to begin this process, we will have to send in nearly $7,000! For a family whose bank account isn't necessarily flourishing immensely, this is a good sized hurdle! But we know that if this is truly God’s plan for our family, then He will provide. So if you are reading this, please pray for us as we go through this journey! Jesus is good and is by our side through thick and thin! I pray that He will be glorified in everything we do during this process!