Waiting

I absolutely hate it! Well.. I mean.. I really, really dislike it STRONGLY!

I don't think its any secret that my biggest passion right now, beyond Jesus, is my family. (Well, if I'm going to be really honest, my prayer is that Jesus would be my biggest passion.. but sometimes isn't truly.) I can't tell you how badly I want to be a full time Mommy. I just remember the feeling of hopelessness I had while I was on maternity leave after I had Jade. My husband is a wonderful provider and the hardest worker I've ever known. (Well.. him and my own Dad.) But to be completely honest, living on his salary alone would leave us scraping quite a bit. When I returned to work, I felt like I would be here FOREVER... that I would NEVER get to be a full time mommy. It has been the cry of my heart for the past 10 months that God would work some kind of miracle. That He would help us get our finances in order, be so frugal its not even funny, and to provide more through my husband's wonderful job. Looking back over the last 10 months, He has definitely been moving mountains in our lives... and I truly believe He has heard and is slowly answering my selfish prayer. You may not see everything from the outside looking in, but I know my God has been moving mightily.

So.. here we are. Promises have been made.. and we're just waiting for them to be fulfilled. I don't have any doubt (well maybe just a teeny, tiny inkling because of my sinful nature) that they won't be fulfilled. But all this waiting is killing me!! =/ I've been trying to pray for patience.. hmm.. maybe I should pray harder and truly mean it?