It's hard for me to leave the warmth of my comfort zone. It's just so nice and cozy here. I know what to expect here. There's minimal chance of getting hurt and maximum opportunity for a steady constant.
I was baffled earlier this year to learn that I've got a little more than a slight case of being introverted. I'm happy to spend time alone, to not have a contacts list a mile long, and to be surrounded by quietness and my own thoughts. Don't get me wrong. I love spending time with my family, being surrounded by little voices and little limbs. I also enjoy spending time with great friends and even getting to know some new ones, too. But thinking all these thoughts over here all on and by my lonesome can sometimes be troublesome and dangerous.
Because of my natural tendency towards isolation, I've probably missed out on some great friendships or not fully invested in others. Being comforted by quietness has. on more than one occasion I'm afraid, also become a crutch for me. I found myself not heeding the call to reach out to others like I should, because it was far more homey for me to be in my "comfort" zone. I found the comfort of my own mind, my own space, and my own time to be of far greater reward than putting forth the effort of investing in people.
Sure, I had my normal little circle of friends that I carefully kept in contact with, encouraged, and lived life with. But outside these few people, I resigned myself to meticulously living within the confines of my so-called "introvertedness". And it wasn't all that bad. But then, it kind of was.
Through the compass of being introverted, I ignored the thoughts of service, encouragement and community towards others. Believing the lie that "they already had a friend', or "I'm sure someone else has already done ___ for them", or "that just doesn't really matter", I missed chance to be a part of someone's life, no matter the role. For me, I bought into the lie that the risk of whatever it was I was being led to do, was far less important than the reward of my personal boundaries.
Being introverted, or having a certain personality type, isn't necessarily bad thing. But when we use these things as a crutch for missing out on opportunities to be intentional, then it certainly can be a bad thing.
I want to be intentional, purposeful and caring for those around me… whether it means a fleeting text, a simple gesture of kindness or even a long conversation over a cup of coffee. I don't want to live in fear of the risk, in the fear of being stretched outside of my comfort zone.
I want to be brave and bold and to live out this Faith that I so boldly live my life upon. I want to courageously follow the Spirit's leading in my life, no matter how trivial it may seem. Maybe the Spirit stirs in my heart to reach out to someone and develop a friendship with in spite of my loner qualities? Maybe the Spirit stirs in my heart to rekindle an old friendship that has grown dusty and overlooked? Maybe the Spirit is calling me to do something I think might be a bit ridiculous, bold and farfetched?
Whatever it is…. no matter the task, I want to bravely lay my intentions to the wayside and be ready to follow His leading.