It's been a while since my fingers have typed on ye old blog. But alas, here I am again. In my comfy little corner of the inter webs, settling in as if I were catching up with an old friend over a delicious cup of hot joe. I love this little space of mine, and it makes me sad that I haven't had a moment to properly articulate everything that has been happening in my world and in my heart over the last few months.
As you may recall, the wonderful Mr. and I were taking foster care training classes through a local orphan-care ministry. Our hopes and dreams were to take the classes (and the 500 other necessary) steps needed to adopt a waiting child. The one small, but huge, hiccup is that there are virtually no waiting children (in the foster care system) for the age group we had hoped to adopt. Nor would the state be likely to place an older child in our home for straight adoption based on the amount and ages of our biological children.
As with any fork in the road, we prayed. We sought God in our decision making. Were we just being stubborn about foster care? Was foster care to be a part of our adoption story and providing a family for a child in need?
And after time in prayer, we still did not feel at peace about foster care at this point in time in our lives. Do we believe in foster care and the need for it? Definitely! And maybe one day down the road we might be able to open our home for that.. but at this point in time, no.
So, we are back to actively waiting for a precious boy to come home to his forever family. We joyfully support our friends, and encourage those in the adoption process- no matter what stage of that process they may be in. We are praying for discernment on timing, type and location.
Thank you to everyone for all your sweet emails, texts and comments. We appreciate all the encouragement you have offered to us on (what seems to be a never-ending) this journey!
We will excitedly share with you any fun little twists and turns our adoption journey may lead us on.. whether that might be an international adoption, or whether we might open our home to foster care with the hopes of adopting a child very locally.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Snaggletooth
Our eldest fair-headed child has had a loose tooth for, I kid you not, about 3 months now.
She has worked diligently to loosen the fleshy tissue's grasp of her tiny incisor.
Let's just get something out in the open for a minute here. I'm not a fan of loose teeth nor of the pulling of teeth. And by "not a fan", I mean it makes my blood run cold. In addition to having chilled out blood, I cringe and nearly puke.
The time finally came where I was certain the roots were finally loosing the battle. So, naturally, I freaked out and texted The Grandmothers.
We made our way home from karate, me having an inner battle of wills and Jade feverishly playing with the wiggly pearly white.
I was relieved to find the tooth still (barely) intact when we walked through our front door. Complaining of severe, earth shattering hunger pains, Jade made her way to the kitchen.
I snuck the other two littles upstairs. After a fun day of waking before the crack-of-dawn (no exaggeration, 5:30am, people), filled with lots of sight-seeing at the zoo and napless afternoon.. they were in a near catatonic state and beyond ready for bed.
I had just tucked the 2nd of the littles in when I heard faint footsteps treading up the stairs. As if by habit, her hand went to her mouth to check the progress of the disengaging tooth. A fit of shocked giggles escaped her little mouth accompanied by a face of astonishment.
"MOM!! MY TOOTH IS GONE," She exclaimed in a shouting whisper!
"What?!?! Where is it? When did you lose it?"
"I DON'T KNOW!! MAYBE IT'S IN ONE OF MY STRAWBERRIES?"
At this point in the story, it is blazingly obvious that I have found great favor with The Lord. Not only was there a severe lack of blood with the tooth being gone, but I was also not in the same room when it happened.
After the congratulatory hugs and giggles, she started her nighttime routine. I snuck downstairs to investigate the remains of her strawberries…. and found NOTHING! Here's to hoping teeth don't interrupt the digestive system too bad.
She has worked diligently to loosen the fleshy tissue's grasp of her tiny incisor.
Let's just get something out in the open for a minute here. I'm not a fan of loose teeth nor of the pulling of teeth. And by "not a fan", I mean it makes my blood run cold. In addition to having chilled out blood, I cringe and nearly puke.
The time finally came where I was certain the roots were finally loosing the battle. So, naturally, I freaked out and texted The Grandmothers.
Too bad I couldn't find an emoji to properly display the amount of nausea I was feeling.
We made our way home from karate, me having an inner battle of wills and Jade feverishly playing with the wiggly pearly white.
I was relieved to find the tooth still (barely) intact when we walked through our front door. Complaining of severe, earth shattering hunger pains, Jade made her way to the kitchen.
I snuck the other two littles upstairs. After a fun day of waking before the crack-of-dawn (no exaggeration, 5:30am, people), filled with lots of sight-seeing at the zoo and napless afternoon.. they were in a near catatonic state and beyond ready for bed.
I had just tucked the 2nd of the littles in when I heard faint footsteps treading up the stairs. As if by habit, her hand went to her mouth to check the progress of the disengaging tooth. A fit of shocked giggles escaped her little mouth accompanied by a face of astonishment.
"MOM!! MY TOOTH IS GONE," She exclaimed in a shouting whisper!
"What?!?! Where is it? When did you lose it?"
"I DON'T KNOW!! MAYBE IT'S IN ONE OF MY STRAWBERRIES?"
At this point in the story, it is blazingly obvious that I have found great favor with The Lord. Not only was there a severe lack of blood with the tooth being gone, but I was also not in the same room when it happened.
After the congratulatory hugs and giggles, she started her nighttime routine. I snuck downstairs to investigate the remains of her strawberries…. and found NOTHING! Here's to hoping teeth don't interrupt the digestive system too bad.
When taking pictures to proudly share with people, one does not have time to wipe strawberry remains off of one's child before said picture is taken.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Wisdom
My house is still and quiet. Even the thoughts in my head have been coaxed to enjoy the simplicity that the next few hours will bring.
With the sounds of deep-napping-almost-snoring filling my ears and the softest of scents accompanying this calm, I'm so grateful to have found time to process all that has culminated today.
This morning I made a call to the agency we chose to work with in our adoption process. Our agency offers support to those providing foster care as well as those who are adopting through our state's protective service. We spoke for some time regarding our family, his experience in the adoption process, and what we feel called to do as a family.
I hung up the phone slightly discouraged with a million thoughts circulating in my mind. These thoughts, their scenarios and possible outcomes created a certain vortex for the day. Most of the day has been consumed with thoughts on what the next step should be for our family.
Following our normal routine, I tucked our two youngest in for a time of deep rest. As soon as their breathing became deep and rhythmic, I retreated to my favorite quiet place in the house. I knew what I needed to do. I sought refuge in the Lord. I spent time in prayer, quickly opened my bible and the material for our current women's bible study at church. What a gift the Word of God is to speak to our lives and our circumstances!
I didn't have some great epiphany during my short time of study today. But I do know that we will be seeking God for wisdom through faith as our adoption journey has produced yet another turn.
Pray with us? Pray for wisdom as we seek which path to take? Pray for clarity.. that we would know how the Lord is answering? And Pray that we would boldly obey?
With the sounds of deep-napping-almost-snoring filling my ears and the softest of scents accompanying this calm, I'm so grateful to have found time to process all that has culminated today.
This morning I made a call to the agency we chose to work with in our adoption process. Our agency offers support to those providing foster care as well as those who are adopting through our state's protective service. We spoke for some time regarding our family, his experience in the adoption process, and what we feel called to do as a family.
I hung up the phone slightly discouraged with a million thoughts circulating in my mind. These thoughts, their scenarios and possible outcomes created a certain vortex for the day. Most of the day has been consumed with thoughts on what the next step should be for our family.
Following our normal routine, I tucked our two youngest in for a time of deep rest. As soon as their breathing became deep and rhythmic, I retreated to my favorite quiet place in the house. I knew what I needed to do. I sought refuge in the Lord. I spent time in prayer, quickly opened my bible and the material for our current women's bible study at church. What a gift the Word of God is to speak to our lives and our circumstances!
I didn't have some great epiphany during my short time of study today. But I do know that we will be seeking God for wisdom through faith as our adoption journey has produced yet another turn.
Pray with us? Pray for wisdom as we seek which path to take? Pray for clarity.. that we would know how the Lord is answering? And Pray that we would boldly obey?
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Blogging slump
There has been so much to blog about lately. So much rich material happening in front of my eyes, words spoken in my ears, thoughts circulating in my mind….
I've tried numerous times to gather said thoughts, to form coherent and complete thoughts from them.
I've succeeded several times with a few half-starts. After a few sentences in, I'm left with a few wispy lines and struggling fragments.
It's not that I don't want to share, or can't share all that's happening. Maybe I'm still processing all that's been happening lately. Maybe there's just been too much of life lately that leaves me breathless when the words need to be spoken (or typed. Same thing, right?)
I'd really love to share with everyone all that's been going on lately.. So, I'm praying for grace to process, form and write these words out.
I've tried numerous times to gather said thoughts, to form coherent and complete thoughts from them.
I've succeeded several times with a few half-starts. After a few sentences in, I'm left with a few wispy lines and struggling fragments.
It's not that I don't want to share, or can't share all that's happening. Maybe I'm still processing all that's been happening lately. Maybe there's just been too much of life lately that leaves me breathless when the words need to be spoken (or typed. Same thing, right?)
I'd really love to share with everyone all that's been going on lately.. So, I'm praying for grace to process, form and write these words out.
"The unfolding of your words gives light it gives understanding to the simple."
-Psalm 119:130
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Sufficient
The emotions have run rampant and have left me raw. And I know there will be many more to come.
The tear ducts in my eyes have been on over-drive since we started this process called "adoption." When I'm sure there are no more tears to cry, my cheeks are moistened again. And I know there will be more tears to come.
And the funny part. We are just barely at the tip of the ice-berg.
We've sat in a handful of classes, and are just past the half-way point.
I've labored over paper-work and sent in forms for this and for that, while there are more forms to chase and fill out.
And when I don't think my mind can handle any more statistics, or my heart can carry the burden of one more horrific story, I keep marching to the steady beat of the drum I've followed for most of my life. The same constant rhythm that has sustained me. Because no matter where I am, no matter how I feel, no matter what the world is throwing at me… I can see it's steady theme in my life. And my prayer is that you can see it in me, too.
It is the all-consuming grace of Jesus. His grace is sufficient for me. His grace alone is enough.
It sustains me through the joys, the sorrows, the heartbreak, the heaviness, and the calamities of this world.
And when I feel like this broken world, and all the horrific stories and scars and battle wounds, has gotten the best of me.. and beaten me up, and I just feel so weak. When the pain is too much to bear, then I know that His power will rest upon me.
It is in understanding that in no way can I do this by my own strength that I wade into the heaviness called adoption. It is for Christ's sake that I can be content in my weakness, because I know that I am strong in Him.
It is for this reason that we can be content pursuing our son's heart, and walking with him through whatever hurt he may have. It is only by the strength of the Holy Spirit that we will be able to walk with him through the healing.
The tear ducts in my eyes have been on over-drive since we started this process called "adoption." When I'm sure there are no more tears to cry, my cheeks are moistened again. And I know there will be more tears to come.
And the funny part. We are just barely at the tip of the ice-berg.
We've sat in a handful of classes, and are just past the half-way point.
I've labored over paper-work and sent in forms for this and for that, while there are more forms to chase and fill out.
And when I don't think my mind can handle any more statistics, or my heart can carry the burden of one more horrific story, I keep marching to the steady beat of the drum I've followed for most of my life. The same constant rhythm that has sustained me. Because no matter where I am, no matter how I feel, no matter what the world is throwing at me… I can see it's steady theme in my life. And my prayer is that you can see it in me, too.
It is the all-consuming grace of Jesus. His grace is sufficient for me. His grace alone is enough.
It sustains me through the joys, the sorrows, the heartbreak, the heaviness, and the calamities of this world.
And when I feel like this broken world, and all the horrific stories and scars and battle wounds, has gotten the best of me.. and beaten me up, and I just feel so weak. When the pain is too much to bear, then I know that His power will rest upon me.
It is in understanding that in no way can I do this by my own strength that I wade into the heaviness called adoption. It is for Christ's sake that I can be content in my weakness, because I know that I am strong in Him.
It is for this reason that we can be content pursuing our son's heart, and walking with him through whatever hurt he may have. It is only by the strength of the Holy Spirit that we will be able to walk with him through the healing.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
The Dangers of Assuming
It's hard for me to leave the warmth of my comfort zone. It's just so nice and cozy here. I know what to expect here. There's minimal chance of getting hurt and maximum opportunity for a steady constant.
I was baffled earlier this year to learn that I've got a little more than a slight case of being introverted. I'm happy to spend time alone, to not have a contacts list a mile long, and to be surrounded by quietness and my own thoughts. Don't get me wrong. I love spending time with my family, being surrounded by little voices and little limbs. I also enjoy spending time with great friends and even getting to know some new ones, too. But thinking all these thoughts over here all on and by my lonesome can sometimes be troublesome and dangerous.
Because of my natural tendency towards isolation, I've probably missed out on some great friendships or not fully invested in others. Being comforted by quietness has. on more than one occasion I'm afraid, also become a crutch for me. I found myself not heeding the call to reach out to others like I should, because it was far more homey for me to be in my "comfort" zone. I found the comfort of my own mind, my own space, and my own time to be of far greater reward than putting forth the effort of investing in people.
Sure, I had my normal little circle of friends that I carefully kept in contact with, encouraged, and lived life with. But outside these few people, I resigned myself to meticulously living within the confines of my so-called "introvertedness". And it wasn't all that bad. But then, it kind of was.
Through the compass of being introverted, I ignored the thoughts of service, encouragement and community towards others. Believing the lie that "they already had a friend', or "I'm sure someone else has already done ___ for them", or "that just doesn't really matter", I missed chance to be a part of someone's life, no matter the role. For me, I bought into the lie that the risk of whatever it was I was being led to do, was far less important than the reward of my personal boundaries.
Being introverted, or having a certain personality type, isn't necessarily bad thing. But when we use these things as a crutch for missing out on opportunities to be intentional, then it certainly can be a bad thing.
I want to be intentional, purposeful and caring for those around me… whether it means a fleeting text, a simple gesture of kindness or even a long conversation over a cup of coffee. I don't want to live in fear of the risk, in the fear of being stretched outside of my comfort zone.
I want to be brave and bold and to live out this Faith that I so boldly live my life upon. I want to courageously follow the Spirit's leading in my life, no matter how trivial it may seem. Maybe the Spirit stirs in my heart to reach out to someone and develop a friendship with in spite of my loner qualities? Maybe the Spirit stirs in my heart to rekindle an old friendship that has grown dusty and overlooked? Maybe the Spirit is calling me to do something I think might be a bit ridiculous, bold and farfetched?
Whatever it is…. no matter the task, I want to bravely lay my intentions to the wayside and be ready to follow His leading.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Coupons, Sales and Gift Cards A-plenty
I'm always itching for a good excuse to steal some time away with my husband. Call me greedy, but I like keeping him all to myself sometimes. I love dating him and investing in our relationship. He encourages me, makes me laugh, and helps keep me rationalized.
Earlier this week I received an email with a coupon in it for a hefty discount on a haircut. The hubs has been in major need of a hair cut, too. So, I scheduled our appointments around the same time for convenience purposes. Then a little thought occurred to me, and it snowballed.. and next thing you know, we're dropping the kids off at KK's to steal some time away together! HOLLA!
Our first stop included shopping for new pants. As of late, my body has taken on a life of its own. All the clothes that used to fit me, now hug my body tighter than sausage casing. I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with all the butter, sugar, bread and all-things-white I have been consuming in recent months. My body just decided it didn't want to fit into a single thing in my closet any longer.
So, our first stop included a quick perusing through Macy's. I only go to the mall once every 2 years maybe. And I rarely shop for myself whilst there. I was shell-shocked to find that the department I normally shop in was no longer in the right place. After wandering a bit, I finally found the right department. Determined to put my coupon to good use, I picked over each Clearance and Sales rack until I found the perfect pair of pants. I found the cutest pair of rusted-orange jeans, found that they fit like a dream, and scored an even bigger discount than the price-tag suggested! What What?!
It was time for us to hustle on down to the salon for our hair-cuts. I nearly fell asleep while the girl with perfect hair and make-up washed my sorry tresses clean. A certain toddler had toddled into our room before the crack of dawn this morning and smothered me with hugs and kisses each time I tried to doze off. So, naturally, I was a tad tired. I asked her if she thought the hairdresser would mind cutting my hair if I was just laying down and snoring? She gave a polite chuckle. But judging by her polite response, I knew she had no idea what it's like to be woken several times throughout the night by needy kids. I urged my lazy limbs to follow the sweet gal to my hairdresser's station, plopped down, and got ready to be pampered! I love my hair dresser. First, he's male. He keeps the conversations short, sweet and slightly sporadic. He also cuts my hair EXACTLY how I ask him to! HALLELUJER, y'all! After I overtipped, the Amazing Mister and I ventured out into the mall again.
Our next stop was a deeply discounted store that overwhelms me with all the choices every time I go in there. I mean. I can barely shop because ALL OF THE CHOICES. The colors, the vastness, the enormity, the styles… they leave me shaking in my boots. I quickly got over my Expanse-Shopaphobia. I had a mission to find at least one pair of pants that didn't make my stomach look like a gooey cake batter spilling over the pan.. and a loose blousey-type of top that would be more flattering to my gooey mid-section. I knew I had perfectly described the material, style and color of the top I wanted to purchase when my husband remarked "You are making absolutely no sense. I'm totally confused." I only circled the store, all 2 levels and 8 mini-rooms of it, twice before I found exactly what I wanted to find. BLACK! Lots of black tops. Black, who hides that soft pudgy-ness so well, I love you. I quickly threw the items on in the dressing rooms, and held back my urges to squeal with delight over the way they fit!
By this point in the day, I was in a near euphoric state of mind. I had spent the morning relaxing with a brood of blonde people. I dropped said people off with their KK, and made off like a bandit with my handsome hubs. We found several REALLY great deals on a few essentials I needed. I got a SPLENDIFEROUS hair cut at a REALLY great price. But we had one last stop. FREE LUNCH!!!!
We sat outside at one of my favorite eateries that some sweet friends had blessed us with a gift card to. It was so great to relax, actually have time to chew our food (instead of inhaling it), and fill in all the gaps with relaxed conversations.
Now, if you'll excuse me.. I've got to go finish out this awesome date day! All the blonde people below 5ft tall are tucked away in their beds for the night. And there's this particularly awesome blonde guy waiting for me for an At-Home-Movie-Popcorn-Candy-Date!
Earlier this week I received an email with a coupon in it for a hefty discount on a haircut. The hubs has been in major need of a hair cut, too. So, I scheduled our appointments around the same time for convenience purposes. Then a little thought occurred to me, and it snowballed.. and next thing you know, we're dropping the kids off at KK's to steal some time away together! HOLLA!
Our first stop included shopping for new pants. As of late, my body has taken on a life of its own. All the clothes that used to fit me, now hug my body tighter than sausage casing. I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with all the butter, sugar, bread and all-things-white I have been consuming in recent months. My body just decided it didn't want to fit into a single thing in my closet any longer.
So, our first stop included a quick perusing through Macy's. I only go to the mall once every 2 years maybe. And I rarely shop for myself whilst there. I was shell-shocked to find that the department I normally shop in was no longer in the right place. After wandering a bit, I finally found the right department. Determined to put my coupon to good use, I picked over each Clearance and Sales rack until I found the perfect pair of pants. I found the cutest pair of rusted-orange jeans, found that they fit like a dream, and scored an even bigger discount than the price-tag suggested! What What?!
It was time for us to hustle on down to the salon for our hair-cuts. I nearly fell asleep while the girl with perfect hair and make-up washed my sorry tresses clean. A certain toddler had toddled into our room before the crack of dawn this morning and smothered me with hugs and kisses each time I tried to doze off. So, naturally, I was a tad tired. I asked her if she thought the hairdresser would mind cutting my hair if I was just laying down and snoring? She gave a polite chuckle. But judging by her polite response, I knew she had no idea what it's like to be woken several times throughout the night by needy kids. I urged my lazy limbs to follow the sweet gal to my hairdresser's station, plopped down, and got ready to be pampered! I love my hair dresser. First, he's male. He keeps the conversations short, sweet and slightly sporadic. He also cuts my hair EXACTLY how I ask him to! HALLELUJER, y'all! After I overtipped, the Amazing Mister and I ventured out into the mall again.
Our next stop was a deeply discounted store that overwhelms me with all the choices every time I go in there. I mean. I can barely shop because ALL OF THE CHOICES. The colors, the vastness, the enormity, the styles… they leave me shaking in my boots. I quickly got over my Expanse-Shopaphobia. I had a mission to find at least one pair of pants that didn't make my stomach look like a gooey cake batter spilling over the pan.. and a loose blousey-type of top that would be more flattering to my gooey mid-section. I knew I had perfectly described the material, style and color of the top I wanted to purchase when my husband remarked "You are making absolutely no sense. I'm totally confused." I only circled the store, all 2 levels and 8 mini-rooms of it, twice before I found exactly what I wanted to find. BLACK! Lots of black tops. Black, who hides that soft pudgy-ness so well, I love you. I quickly threw the items on in the dressing rooms, and held back my urges to squeal with delight over the way they fit!
By this point in the day, I was in a near euphoric state of mind. I had spent the morning relaxing with a brood of blonde people. I dropped said people off with their KK, and made off like a bandit with my handsome hubs. We found several REALLY great deals on a few essentials I needed. I got a SPLENDIFEROUS hair cut at a REALLY great price. But we had one last stop. FREE LUNCH!!!!
We sat outside at one of my favorite eateries that some sweet friends had blessed us with a gift card to. It was so great to relax, actually have time to chew our food (instead of inhaling it), and fill in all the gaps with relaxed conversations.
Now, if you'll excuse me.. I've got to go finish out this awesome date day! All the blonde people below 5ft tall are tucked away in their beds for the night. And there's this particularly awesome blonde guy waiting for me for an At-Home-Movie-Popcorn-Candy-Date!
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